Friday, December 19, 2014

Enough Is Enough! Parent Alert: It's Time To "Stop Teaching Our Kids To Kill"!

Although I typically write about bullying and cyber bullying with this blog, the psychological factors of causation with individuals who are committing more heinous crimes are eerily similar to those who perpetrate forms of aggression through both types of bullying. Therefore, I would like to share what I have learned.  

I just finished reading Stop Teaching Our Kids To Kill: A Call To Action Against TV, Movie   &Video Game Violence by Lt. Col. Dave Grossman and Gloria DeGaetano. Parents, Guardians, and those entrusted with the well-being of our children, if you don’t read any other book in 2015, I implore you to read this one!

After hearing Lt. Col. Dave Grossman speak at the California Association of Marriage & Family Therapists Annual Conference in May 2014, I couldn't wait to get my hands on the second edition of this book (available August 2014). Supported by the latest research as well as by six prestigious organizations  – the American Psychological Association, the American Academy of Pediatrics, the American Academy of Family Physicians, the American Psychiatric Association, the American Medical Association, and the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry -  Grossman and DeGaetano clearly make the case for  “causal connection between media violence and aggressive behavior in some children”.  However, the alarming and deleterious effects on the psychological, social, cognitive, and physical development of millions of children who are pervasively exposed to violent movies and TV, and/or who are engaging in violent video games are thoroughly defined and discussed.  What I learned is horrifying. This book is not an easy read – but it is a MUST read.

Although every chapter of Stop Teaching Our Kids To Kill is incredibly important, I recommend jumping right into Chapter Three – Murder, Torture, Brutality: Dangerous “Games”, and Chapter Four – The Story I Tell Myself About Myself.  Even with my background in psychology and my professional experience in the areas if trauma and abuse, I was blown away by the depth of Grossman’s and DeGaetano’s  compelling understanding of the human mind and how the processes of reconditioning and re-scripting by exposure to violent media affect children differently at these developmental stages– ages 3-5; ages 6-10; ages 11- 14; ages 15-18.  Parents or guardians, when it comes to violent media and how it influences and impacts a child’s psycho-social development and self-identity, the authors explain step by step how a child’s brain is harmfully “wired and fired”. Just a few of the terms that are part of the “wiring” include the following:
  •  Mastery and control
  • Operant conditioning
  •  Desensitization
  • Downward spiral 
  •  Wishful identification
  •  Imitation to identification

Understanding these terms and many others provides awareness and insight into the damaging developmental consequences on our children, many of which go undetected until acts of aggression or of violence become part of a child’s repertoire of behaviors and anti-social attitudes.

Parents/guardians and for everyone who cares about our children, Lt. Col. Dave Grossman and Gloria DeGaetano write, “The media has been called the third parent because of its pervasive, repetitive, and constant presence in the lives of our children.  Mass media actually comes between and impacts every personal and societal relationship our children form. It’s ever present.”

Enough is enough! It is time to step it up! It is time to Stop Teaching Our Kids to Kill! Grossman and DeGaetano are ready to help.  Along with a wide range of resources, the authors provide readers with a plethora of age appropriate guidelines and practices to incorporate into their parenting.

Get this book! Get it today! 
Let’s all get to work helping our kids live healthier lives!  

* Special Note: 

Lt.Col. Dave Grossman (USA., RET) is an internationally recognized scholar, author, soldier, and speaker who is one of the world's foremost experts in the field of human aggression and the roots of violence and violent crime, As a West Point Psychology professor and professor of military science, Grossman trains medical and health professionals in how to deal with and prevent killing. He is one of our nation's leading trainers of elite military, law-enforcement, and school-safety organizations. 

Gloria DeGaetano is an acclaimed media-literacy educator and the author of the award-winning book Parenting Well in a Media Age: Keeping Our Kids Human.As a consultant and university instructor, DeGaetano has trained thousands of teachers, family-support professionals, and parents in media-related issues since 1987. 

Sunday, October 26, 2014

Cyber Bullying No More! Two Online Interviews Packed With Tips For Parents!

October is coming to a close but it doesn't mean that our commitment to Stop Bullying will end.The good news is because bullying and cyber bullying are behaviors that individuals are choosing to participate in, these behaviors can be changed. And the even better news is that if everyone - parents, guardians, wellness professionals, educators,  faith-based and community leaders, etc. - worked together, bullying and cyber bullying could be stomped out. Let's get started!

In this two-part on-line interview with Jill Osborne, Licensed Professional Counselor, there are easy and effective tips for the protection from, intervention with, and prevention of cyber bullying. Please take a read.

And, for a  more comprehensive understanding of Bullying and Cyber Bullying as well as 3 Keys for intervention, please take a listen. 

Let's do this!  Let's get this done!
Let's end all bullying!

Thursday, May 22, 2014

Bloggers Are Standing Up To Bullying!!

I don't  know about you but sometimes I get really discouraged with all the bad news we hear or read, day in and day out!  Aside from limiting my intake of the depressing realities of life, I refuse to get bogged down in it! I stay committed to my calling in the wellness world, and I work hard in my writings to provide informative and restorative information to my readers.The cool thing is - so are thousands, even hundred of thousands- of other people!!

Although there are many serious problems and critical issues facing our families today, tragically bullying and cyber bullying continue to challenge the well-being of our children (and often of adults as well). Ironically, the same source - technology - that serves as a vehicle for cyber bullies to carry out their abusive agendas can also be a healing tool for victims and their parents/guardians!  Out of frustration and fear, parents/guardians will frequently take technology away from their children ( a tech-time out, so to speak) as a punishment for bullies or as a protective strategy for victims. Although this may be part of a larger plan of intervention, I strongly encourage parents/guardians to become acquainted with the incredibly positive and proactive websites, blogs, and organizations who stand with you and for you in your fight against all kinds of bullying!

Recently, named the top Top 100 Anti Bullying Blogs of 2013  ! Let me say that again- the top 100 Anti Bullying Blogs of 2013! As I said, there are really good folks out there who want to help - who provide healthy and healing sources of support! Please, take some time and look over these amazing sources, and take advantage of what they have to offer you and your children! You won't be disappointed!!    

My blog, Cyber Bullying No More, was named 6th on the list of blogs dedicated to the ongoing fight against bullying and cyber bullying.  Although I am very proud and pleased, my work is not done.  I continue to implore parents/gaurdians to take a more involved role in their children's online life. I hope readers will take time to read my interview with Ernest Dempsey on Cyber Bullying and Blogosphere, published in the online site NewsBlaze. There is more information for the protection from, intervention with, and prevention of cyber bullying!

Parents, you are not alone! 

Bloggers Are Standing Up To Bullying!! 

Take a quick read...

Cyber Bullying and Blogosphere!

And, for a short and easily implementable road map for raising your kids in this crazy but fascinating technological age, please consider obtaining a copy of cyber bullying no more: Parenting A High Tech Generation!

Together - We WILL Make  A Difference!

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